It does far more harm than good

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Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

The use of the word “toxic” now permeates our society. It is used to describe cultural and political rhetoric, relationships that deviate from the accepted norm, parents, children, friends, work culture, and the list grows longer each day.

If someone’s choices or behavior doesn’t fit into a vague definition of acceptable, or if they cause harm, regardless of intent, they earn the label of toxic.

In today’s cancel culture, applying the word “toxic” to someone can have lasting repercussions. Once the toxic label is applied to an institution or person, it is often used to cancel them from worthiness.

The term “toxic” is powerful because it literally meant poison before used as a cultural trend. In the literal sense, of course, we can objectively and scientifically prove if something is toxic. …

Because it is the only thing anyone sees

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Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

I used to avoid writing about Medium, at least very often. The most important reason was that the work would not be curated, and therefore, would garner fewer views.

Now that curation has changed and does exactly zilch for my stats; I have started writing more frequently about writing on Medium. The irony is not lost on me.

I have 1.6k followers on Medium, and my curated work, even in decent sized publications, is now receiving less than 200 views. But, if I write about my writing experience on Medium, I can exceed that without the “benefit” of curation.

I have been writing here for over a year. The thrill of being paid to write whatever I wanted to write about was enough to keep me here through several platform changes. …

And hoping it doesn’t mark a new trend

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Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

Like most people around the country, our Christmas will look different this year. I felt a little down about all the differences when I realized how petty and selfish it was to bemoan the small sacrifices my family will have to make. The empty spaces around our table are temporary and voluntary, unlike those whose holidays will never be the same after COVID-19.

We are still employed, and our efforts to scale back Christmas shopping are also voluntary. …

Despite the drastic decrease in earnings

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Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

I think that other than a few outliers, most writers on Medium have seen a dramatic drop in earnings over the last few months. The medium itself claims to be adding new members at a rapid rate, so we have no way of knowing why earnings are dropping across the board.

It could be that Medium is not paying writers based on the same formula, or the new algorithm changes designed to give us a “more relational” experience are an epic fail. …

In a world filled with hurting people

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Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

2020 has been a dark and challenging year for many people around the globe. The impact of fear, frustration, isolation, and worry has caused a sharp increase in mental health issues, including substance abuse and suicidal ideation.

According to a study by the CDC, younger adults, racial and ethnic minorities, unpaid adult caregivers, health care professionals, and essential workers are suffering disproportionately worse mental health outcomes as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Empaths that are spread amongst the groups listed above and throughout society are suffering as well. …

Your attacks are a cry for help

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Photo by Clint Patterson on Unsplash

The power of social media can often be used for good. Social media plays a significant role in uniting the country in protests against police brutality and the rallying cry for justice for George Floyd. Social media is also how we stay in touch with friends and relatives, and it allows us a platform to express our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Unfortunately, there is a dark side to the instant communication available to us online. Unless you live with very little internet connectivity in your life, you have probably witnessed the cruelty and ugliness of human nature when it is cloaked behind a keyboard. …

Society wants to fix the problem while ignoring the cause

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Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

There seems to be a chicken vs. egg scenario when you talk about abusive relationships and mental health. There is no doubt that abusive relationships take a toll on mental health, but what mental health issues lead to finding yourself in an abusive relationship?

According to Louise Howard, Head of Women’s Mental Health at King’s College Institute of Psychiatry, “there are two things happening: domestic violence can often lead to victim’s developing mental health problems, and people with mental health problems are more likely to experience domestic violence.”

Abusive relationships are complex, filled with dynamics that center around power and control. Exploring the dynamics around mental health issues that lend themselves to staying in an abusive relationship is not victim-blaming. If we can discuss the risk factors in place before the abuse, it is a step forward in preventing domestic violence and emotional abuse. …

Which matters more for success

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Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash

We write because we love to write, and we all dream of the flexibility to when we want and about what we want. Unfortunately, that type of writing only pays the bills for a lucky few. If you are interested in writing as more than a hobby, you will inevitably have to face a few harsh truths.

Learning these lessons and implementing them will have a profound impact on your writing career.

Marketing your writing is a necessity. In the world of digital content, you may well spend more time marketing your writing than you actually writing. …

Grief is an inherently lonely process — made more so by the judgment of others

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Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

Nothing makes us feel more alone, raw, and vulnerable than grief. It is an isolating and lonely experience even when surrounded by those that are grieving with us. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief, despite the message society wants to push.

We do not come pre-equipped with a coping mechanism that helps us process grief. Instead, most descend for a time into survival mode. Those on the outside only see a part of the grieving process, and it can appear wildly inappropriate.

In my family, we laugh. We laugh at the most inappropriate times. We make jokes that no one outside our circle would understand. That doesn’t mean we love any less fiercely or that we somehow feel less sad. Our laughter represents our version of a survival mechanism, and it is a way to hold the tears and anguish at bay for a time. …

Confronting the negativity bias

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Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I have done my share of dark, raw, brutal writing. Why? Because I am human, and the human experience contains plenty of material for such work. But it also provides for exquisite joy, peace, love, and laughter — but those pieces rarely perform as well.

Why are we so attracted to personal essays and informative articles about heartache, pain, trauma, and grief? When it comes to personal essays, there seems to be little attraction to those that tell the story of joy, unless it is against a backdrop of surviving pain and trauma.

According to Science Daily, the answer is far more straightforward than it might seem. Research has found that those who watch tragic movies think more about their close relationships and, in turn, boost their happiness by breeding a sense of thankfulness for what they have. …



A professional freelance writer specializing in crafting content for law firms and businesses. Visit my website at

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