I’m an Adoptee Without an Adoption Trauma Story

Not all adoptions cause trauma

Dena@Write-Solutions
7 min readMay 24, 2024

Photo by Zachery Perry on Unsplash

I’ve seen many stories about adoption trauma shared on social media and other platforms. First, let me say that my story doesn’t apply to those adopted outside of infancy.

I have no problem understanding the trauma and hurt of those taken from a birth family, plopped into a strange home, and all that comes with stories of those adopted from the foster care system.

Where I struggle with understanding is those who were adopted at birth or in early infancy into safe and loving homes.

It’s not my place to deny anyone’s trauma, but I genuinely have a hard time relating to the feelings they so poignantly describe. I was adopted as a baby, and when I was eighteen, I learned that it was a familial adoption where someone I knew as my aunt was actually my birth mom.

Growing Up Loved

I always knew I was adopted. I think I knew that word before I could even understand what it meant — it was just something unique about me. After all, I was special. I had been chosen.

In my teen years, as rebellion took hold, I remember fantasizing about my “real” parents. I was sure they would understand me in a way my Mom and Dad could not. Somewhere deep down, I knew that was a…

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Dena@Write-Solutions
Dena@Write-Solutions

Written by Dena@Write-Solutions

A professional freelance writer specializing in crafting content for law firms and businesses. Visit my website at https://writesolutionspro.com/

Responses (20)

What are your thoughts?

Thank you for sharing your story. I am very happy that the "abolish adoption" view is not mainstream. I think the views on this topic at times on Medium have been quite skewed, and I am glad that you are able and willing to share your perspective.

Very well said. I have read the posts of a person who wants to make adoption illegal and only have guardianship. All I'll say is that her very deserved anger at how abusive her adoptive family was colors her opinions. There is also anger from other…...

I am 74 years old. I was adopted when I was 3 months old. My parents were two of the most kind and loving people. I couldn't have imagined my life without them. My sister (biological to them) was 14 when I came into their lives. She was my best…...